Life is difficult enough without feeling like you’re in it alone. Everyday stress can take its toll alone, but add in other stressors like anxiety, depression, trauma, or relationship issues, and it can feel absolutely unbearable. Individual therapy can help you reflect on truths that have been difficult for you, give you a neutral space to sort out your thoughts or offer you guidance working through things that you haven’t been able to work through on your own.
I’m on My Own
Loneliness is not uncommon in the therapy office. Those who are overstressed are often emotional and struggle to connect with others, though they desperately wish to. Perhaps you aren’t even sure what the problem is. Add to this the fact that it’s so difficult to ask for help and you have a recipe for disaster. When you’re working so hard to change the
path your life is on and the same issues keep coming up, it may be a signal that you need some objective outside guidance. While it feels that you are alone, this is far from the truth: a good therapist can go a long way in getting you back on track.
Overscheduled and Undervalued
We all lead busy lives. Some of us busier than others! If your life feels more like a series of scheduled appointments with no downtime than overall experience, it may be time for a change. We are taught to achieve. Very often, high achievers end up “overcontrolled.” This means that, as a person, there is a level of inflexible thinking that leads to high anxiety, loneliness, perfectionism, being overcautious, and feeling exhausted by social interactions.
How this manifests depends on the particular person, but one thing that is universal is that overcontrol can take a toll on you. It can rob you of the ability to relax, the ability to connect, and the ability to manage life in general. If you feel that this is an issue for you, you may be interested in the RO-DBT page on the menu.
It’s All In The Family
Our families teach us how to be people. Thus, they mold and shape who we are, for better or for worse. They are our first experience in how to attach, how to love, how to fight, and how to live with others. Exploring your family patterns can go a long way in understanding yourself and your particular relationship patterns. Processing these particular relationships can also assist in establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, and sometimes understanding and reconnecting severed relationships. The families we build later in life through friendships, romantic relationships will often mirror our family of origin. This doesn’t mean you’re doomed to repeat faulty patterns. With some work, you can break the cycle.
Bridging the Gap
Our first experience in attaching to others is our family. Good, bad, or indifferent; every family has problems. It could be that you had no relationship model at all. Alternatively, maybe your caretakers modeled poor behaviors like abuse, neglect, unhealthy arguments, or not modeling love at all. Our family teaches us how to love. So when the source teaches faulty things, it can affect our relationships for the rest of our lives. People both in and out of therapy often don’t know how to healthily argue, how to show love, how to navigate cooperation and compromise. How we attach can be critical to whether or not we repeat the same patterns or create new ones. Individual therapy can help you explore your models and patterns to learn new and better ways to develop relationships that last or reconnect and fortify struggling ties.
Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun
We all have secrets. Some are darker than others. Whatever they are, they’re heavy. Individual therapy can give you a safe space to work through the complicated feelings that come with whatever secrets you’re holding. Often, having a “secret” means trauma. Trauma can have a devastating impact on who you are, how you manage life, and how your relationships form. Offloading and genuinely understanding these secrets can free you from the influence they continue to have on your life.
If your life isn’t taking the direction you want, know that you’re in control of changing your path. If you can’t find the way yourself, individual therapy can be a helpful way to find your answers to the life you want to build. When you’re ready, I am here to help.