Parenting is one of the most thankless demanding jobs- or it sure can feel like it! Maybe you remember a time when it was more fun, or there were less fires to put out. Many parents today lack support either through extended family or with peers to relate to. And yet it’s so important to share our struggles, celebrate accomplishments, get some good advice or some practical skills. Let’s face it, kids these days face unparalleled challenges, and the techniques that our parents used with us may not work, be very outdated or even illegal.
Our therapists have worked as peer parenting mentors, counseled in schools, lead parenting groups, and mentored individual parents. Hundred of parents from different walks of life feel that these tools have helped them succeed in parenting and strengthen their relationship with their child. While not all tools will work for every single person or family, by utilizing a variety, you can find what your kids respond to and develop your parenting style.
The Root of Discipline is “to teach.”
Many people may mistakenly believe that discipline is the time to “show who the boss is.” Nonetheless, if we remember the word “disciple,” we may see the true meaning of the word. (Remember how Jesus gathered people, disciples around him?) Whether we are religious or not, when we discipline well, we “disciple.” That is, we fortify our relationships and draw our family around us in a way to enhance our influence instead of tearing them down through fear or bullying.
Take a moment, close your eyes, and ask yourself. What is most important to teach your children?
Your answer tells you about your style, values, and strengths as a parent. Start with your strength and passion, and this is the core of what you offer.
Don’t Sabotage your Relationships: Grow Them!
We may mistakenly feel responsible for our children’s poor behavior or protect them from the consequences of their choices. Feeling over-responsible or not taking responsibility for our role can cloud our decisions and have us parent out of fear, anger, and frustration or give up in apathy. When we are thinking calmly, we strategically use our values and choosing a disciplined structure that supports our family. Therefore, we can communicate our values to your children in the most crucial moments while staying in control. By doing this, we demonstrate love and safety.
When we grow relationships, we build our circle of influence, and this forms a positive win-win loop that feeds itself. A stronger relationship equals more influence plus more authority more buy-in, and so on, you get the picture. By choosing authoritative and kind parenting, we model and teach self-control, leadership, enhance our kid’s internal motivation, trust in themselves, and the ability to handle stress. Most importantly, we teach through our actions, not empty words. Self-control leadership, internal motivation, trust in self, and ability to handle stress; these are traits our children need to succeed and when they are faced with complex choices.
The decision to have a child is life-affirming, and yet it can bring so much stress and change. The years of active parenting can go by very quickly, and our ability to shape our relationship with our children. Nevertheless, It is an opportunity that is often unprecedented in later years. Go ahead and get some support and practical tools. We are here to help you all the step of the way.